Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Is this thing still on?

I was sitting in bed tonight, reflecting on a big ass milestone and digesting how it feels. Unsettling? No just... unbelievable. My writing partner and I completed writing our television pilot after years of development, and so many hours of reconstructing and doubting. I read the last draft and felt nauseous and emotional all at once. I guess that means it was right. Or I sure bloody hope that's what it means. Maybe it sucks, but regardless it is done.

I remembered I blogged once upon a time. I'm not sure who I blogged for, but upon reflection I kinda think it was just for myself and anyone who got a kick out of the shit that goes through my head. I started this before Instagram, before Twitter, maybe even before Facebook? Nah, that dates me.
It was the only way for me to feel connected to the people who wrote me, admired my work (or bashed it, but meh whatever). It's a good way to get your voice out right?

I'm turning... 34 next month. Gross. I can't believe I got here so fast. Kidding, I'm grateful I'm alive and wise and whatever else I'm suppose to say. But no, really I am. It is kinda funny cause my last post was around my birthday too. I must get thinky this time of year.

My dad isn't alive and he was last time I wrote. That was a shitty journey, and it occurred to me tonight that he won't get to read my pilot. I started it when he was alive, several years ago. He wanted to read a book I started to write, but I kept it all from him and everyone else. I wish he could read it now. I think he would be proud. He'd for sure tell me some annoying constructive stuff that I'd roll my eyes at but then secretly take into account and likely adjust. I miss him. I wish he could read my story and annoy me with his notes tonight.

I've had some relationships since my last post. Learned that I am the best parent to my kids and no-one else needs to help me. That was a big lesson. One that us single moms need to eventually learn. We are capable and we are enough. My kids don't have a father and that's okay. It's not ideal, but it's okay. The love I have for them is enough to make up for a million fathers or men and they are going to be just fine.

We as women need to apparently get to a nice age of semi-ripening before we can learn the big lesson that we are truly amazing and capable and strong and kick ass on our own. Or at least I had to. My dad always wanted that for me and he'd be happy I finally got super comfortable being solo. In fact, I like my bed and bathroom to myself and I like my own Netflix cue so... there ya have it.

On that note I'm going to end this very random and odd post and say good night. Hopefully it won't be another 4 years and I will have something better to say for the next one.

Thanks for reading if you are and remember life goes on past heartache and break and loss and loneliness.

Peace and love.


Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Dirty thirty?

Well it's been a pretty damn good week to send off my twenties. I love the beautiful souls I am lucky enough to call friends with all my heart. 
I wouldn't go back to being 22 if you paid me. And I am so unbelievably grateful for the lessons I've learned this far in life. 
My 28th year was exactly what they say it's meant to be "time of change and new beginnings"... Boy was it ever. 
Being a bit lost turned into me becoming incredibly strong and grateful. It was my defining year.
I learned the power and strength I had as a woman. I learned my worth. I accepted my flaws and learned to love myself regardless. 
I learned what love is and what I deserve. And how to give openly and selflessly. I learned how important family is, and how much I value the incredible women I have and how we are meant to lift eachother up. I learned that I could raise two babies without any support and it was not just ok but empowering. 
I learned the spirituality I have inside of me and it's not a man in the clouds but the energy and power of intentions. I learned I don't like to eat things with feathers. I learned I like to run and squat.
I learned the importance of thought and knowing when to think a bit more.. And a bit less. 
I learned that my twenties were for a series of epic failures so I could become the woman I want my children to admire, and learn from. 
And I'm still getting there... 
I enter my (it's hard to write...) ahem 30's (whew)... Excited. 
If I learn and grow even half as much as I did this past ten years than life's going to be pretty damn sweet. 
Thanks for reading and witnessing the ride:)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Calling all warriors

It's been another long while since I've written, and if you've faithfully followed me and been one of the wonderful people who have asked me to write more... I'm sorry and thank you for standing by:)

I felt inspired to write tonight, life inspired me to write and change inspired me to write.
It's occurred to me that this crazy ride we are all on is so many things... It's heart wrenching, unpredictable, stunning and breathtaking. This ride can inspire us to be better and it can tear us down to the bone to teach us just how much we can take. Or maybe it is to show us how strong we can be. There are no promises in this life, there are no sure things.
I am a firm believer of  life is what we make it. We are exactly where we are today as a result of how we handled what  bump we may have hit yesterday. We have been heartbroken, abused, cheated, tested, turned down, torn down, disrespected. We have had hard battles and easy streets. We've cried. We have felt deflated, broken and just uninspired and under appreciated. But let me tell you. You can pick yourself up... You can do anything your heart desires, your soul requires. You can start again from square one, from wherever you left off before you were torn down. Life is a ride... An unpredictable ride. So who's to say that you aren't in for the most breathtaking, unbelievable ride of all. Dream it... Do it. You are a fighter even when you feel there's nothing to fight for. Those pieces that are broken and shattered into a trillion bits in places you can't see will all fall back into place. You will survive. And after you do, you will have taken this lesson with you.
You will look up at the nights sky and see beauty not sorrow.
Life's chapters open and close. The pain we feel when we know one is closing is unprecedented and perhaps seemingly unbearable.
Take a beat... Cry. Feel the pain. Let it pass over you and through you and then breath... Pick up your chin and  carry on my friend.
Never forget you're a warrior in this life.
And know that the sun always comes back after a storm.
However long it may take...

Sigh... Not sure who that was for. But I hope it helped...


Tuesday, November 20, 2012


It never feels like November. It always feels like June or July. Yet I always am reminded its here. It creeps in through the sun and the palms and my subconscious knows. Try as I might to fight the effect it has on me. The memories of fall and winter growing up are so faded but still so strong. What the cold nights felt like and the warmth of the fireplace and my moms hands. The tree lit up and the house perfectly calm and tormented all at once.
November creeps in and reminds me of what I miss. Where my heart belongs and the memories that were left in that house. Our house. The nails poking up out of the floor boards and that one spot I cut my foot. The floors that my feet grew up on, now covered with new memory deprived faux wood. The walls we measured ourselves on and searched for ghosts through painted over. The walls we pressed our ears to,
hoping to make sense of the arguments, are sanded down. The basement stairs that led the bold kid to ice-cream in the deep freezer, that my sister and I laughed and fought on, and that my first love was led down are now torn and demolished. That old roof that needed fixing dripped rain melodically, lulling me to sleep. The ant hill, the bees nest, the front door the "crazy" kicked in. Moms bed where she rubbed our hair off our foreheads. Moms bed, the safe spot. The living room I learned my dad was in intensive care, and that same living room I learned he was moving out.
The first place I brought my newborn baby to from the hospital. Even though I owned a place of my own.
Thank you for bringing my memories to me.
Thank you for reminding me just how beautiful and crazy life is.

Monday, June 11, 2012


I can barely remember what it felt like; lying in bed my toes buried under the still cold covers, rubbing my feet together to generate warmth. My newly constructed room in the ground level basement of the house I grew up in, barely lit by the moon shining through the half window in the corner. Still, tonight in my room in warm California I turn on my sound machine to rain hoping to feel that comfort. I try to remind myself of the lonely nights in that house. Listening to the familiar sound of the rain hitting the drainpipe and the soaked puddled grass. The sound of it drenching the rocky alleyway beside my window and the light from the very occasional car headlights flooding my room as it and its driver crunched home. I felt so alone. My thoughts steam rolling through my head. Doubts, questions fears and insecurities rolling through my teenage mind. Yet somehow, the pitter patter of that rain grounded me. It was my security blanket and my mother. The only thing that would certainly be there and undoubtedly come again. It never let me down and it never stayed away for long. It cleansed me when I walked home from a night I would happily forget, hide my tears and soothed my soul. It filled my shoes and my heart. I miss it. I miss the things it inspired. Living in a weather deprived city seems to show in the heart of the city itself.
One day, hopefully soon, the gift of rain is the gift I want to give my children. I want them to appreciate it, feel comforted by it, safe and blanketed by it. Rain boots by the door and umbrellas always near. I want them to run in the rain, love in the rain, cry in the rain and fall asleep to the rain. I wish for them puddles to splash in, and the windshield wipers to lull them to sleep as I drive them safely home. Until then, I will listen to my slightly off, tinny rain sound and remember as much as I can. I will dream of my nights as a child and one day, I will give my children the gift of rain.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Lost and found

I just found this little drawing I did of my daughter a couple of years ago. Thought I would share to add some art to this here blog ;)


I just want to say that I've seen so much sadness and death and loss in the past year that it's numbing. I've seen good people who are so near and dear to my heart lose a child (twice), and survive. I don't know how you can go on living life after such a horrible nightmare, yet they have and they live and they smile. They feel pain but believe there may be light again.

Along with the death I've seen an astounding amount of life. I've seen many babies being born and new life beginning. The death has made the life so much more amazing and even more of a miracle than I ever had realized before. It reminds me that every single moment every little breath each and every one of us takes is sacred and counted and important. It's worth something; whatever that may be.

So if you can't pay your bills, if you are lonely or feel no love just hold on. You are not alone and right now,while you feel the solitude in your darkness, someone else is in their darkness feeling the same way. Do whatever it takes every single day to push through and find happiness. Even if its in one small thing. Go watch a child laugh and play, go sit on a swing and see how high you can go. Let the weather wake you up and hit you in the face. Do something to feel alive, and then remember how lucky you are to be. Someone else would love to be as alive as you and as able as you and as lucky as you.

Whatever battle you're fighting, keep fighting it. Step into the light and breath and fight. You can do it, I know you can. You'll be amazed at what the future has in store for you.

Love, Chelsea

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Eat right

Wow two posts in one day, I'm really on a role haha.
Okay I just wanted to quickly post this cause I saw it and thought it was something we should all know. It kinda goes along with my last post because it's about eating healthy and doing things now to prevent cancer, etc later. And I'm sure you will look better on the outside too (for those of you who may be more concerned with that).

Anyway check it out:)

Till next time...
Xo Chels

Wanna know your thoughts...

....on this article. I, for one, am naturally very thin and was actually teased about it as a child. After having my children I filled out and carry any weight I gain in my butt! I'm proud of it and the day I grew hips and filled out was a happy day for me. If I don't work out or eat right I don't feel good about myself, if I do then I focus less on what size I am and feel good because I'm healthy. I would rather be healthy on the inside and be a bigger jean size than be scary skinny because I'm not eating right or working out. Being skinny and flabby doesn't feel good to me. Being fuller and maybe more muscular and toned makes me feel great. So I think we should focus less on size and more on what you are doing to make you the size you are. Be your natural you, your healthy you and whatever size that is, so be it! You will probably feel amazing if you know you are doing what you can to take care of your might body and soul!

Now here's that article that sparked this:

Monday, December 5, 2011

This message brought to you by the world wide web...

We all know that the internet has taken over. It's become the number one way we communicate and is causing us to communicate in ways we never would have dreamt of a mere 5 years ago. In so many ways these changes are amazing and exciting. I, being someone who loves the idea of a time without cellphones, internet, television, etc. am for the most part scared by the promise that this is taking over our lives. The funny thing is, this message is being written and read on a computer, and I pay my bills by performing on television. So modern technology undoubtedly has it's perks.

I could write a hundred thousand word essay on the antithesis of that, and why it drives me crazy. Some ideas are; what it exposes our children to, us becoming an increasingly less social society while we becoming more social through a screen, less outdoor play, the need for instant gratification, the downfall of the english language and on and on and on I could (but won't) go.

This leads me to the reason for writing this scattered note. The US Postal service is going down down down baby down. It scares me because I love getting mail. I hate getting bills, but I love getting mail. It's one of the things thing that I believe simply cannot ever be replaced by the internet. E-cards just don't have the same feeling. You can't touch them, hold them, keep them forever... knowing that someone put the time and love into buying (or making), hand writing and mailing something for you. It didn't take a few minutes through a company that fills in the spaces for you and one click and it's off. It's the unexpected nice surprise that is mixed into your expected bills and junk mail. The birthday or Christmas card you didn't expect. It's the check from your grandma, the magazine you subscribe to, fan mail you sent, letter from your loved one in Iraq, the school photo of your niece, the confetti in the holiday card, the postcard from the Philippines, the smudge marks on the paper, the scent of your loved one, the S.W.A.K (sealed with a kiss) from your best friend.

When I read this article today it made me want to come on here and beg you all to try to send holiday cards this year. Even go buy an old typewriter, some cool paper and have fun with sending vintage-looking notes. Maybe keep an address book with the people you loves' mailing information in it and once in a blue moon, send them a card. Help the post office stay alive for as long as we can. It's up to us to continue on supporting something that our families before us relied on so much, before a time of status updates.

Who knows, you might miss it when it's finally gone.

And I would've mailed this if I knew each and every one of you addresses.

Keep warm in your homes and hearts,

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Umm wow...

Read this first.

I'm sorry but I think this is a little over the top. There is absolutely no proof that co-sleeping is a cause of SIDS. As most of you know, I have two children and with one we went the co-sleeping route and one we didn't. It seems to me that this ad isn't taking many of the important steps in educating people.

***I'm not a professional, this is only MY OWN OPINION, and you can take it or leave it but please make your own choice.***

1. it's been found that the infant mortality rate goes soaring up if someone is a smoker and sleeps beside their baby.
2. if someone has been heavily drinking or is under the influence of drugs this is another reason to put your baby in their own crib. (although if you are doing either of those things and you have a newborn, you have much bigger issues).
3. Don't let your baby sleep in your bed if you have a waterbed or if you are planning on sleeping with your blankets up around your neck... not safe.
4. your baby should not sleep in the middle of you and your partner, or on the edge of the bed so they can fall off.
5. Use your common sense.

Now; let's consider this. In many many countries around the world ( North America excluded), women sleep with their children. They believe it is important in mother-child bonding, and for the infant to feel love and closeness so early in life. I once heard of someone who went to Africa and an African woman said to her "is it true that in America you keep your babies in a jail?" referring to a crib. Now, I'm not saying we do, cause clearly we all know that's a bit severe and not the case. But it is a bit strange that so early in life we put our infants in another room, far from the mother, after spending so long attached in the womb. A gradual transition would be ideal.

Another interesting fact I've read over the past few years is that SIDS rates are higher in New Zealand, Ireland, England and America than anywhere else. Why do we think that is?

Some theories are that a chemical used in fire-retardants cause toxic gases to leak from mattresses and result in SIDS. These chemicals don't show up in autopsies and also are less likely to be deadly when a baby is sleeping on their back, with their nose and mouth breathing in more fresh air. This also could explain why the Back-to-Sleep campaign has cut SIDS more than 50%.

How about the fact that babies are maybe just as at risk if they are sleeping alone and their parents can't hear them if they are distressed? Do we know it's better to have our infant down the hallway, alone at maybe several weeks old? We have double the infant death rate than many countries who do co-sleep with their infants.

Overheating is another theory that has been related to SIDS.

Who really knows. There are dozens of theories out there and we don't really know that cause of this terrifying and tragic syndrome that every new parent fears. My point is; this ad seemed to be very vague and fear-instilling. It may be discouraging something that has been proven to be completely healthy and fine in millions of homes. Or maybe there is a slight increase but do we know it's not due to poor choices on these parent's parts? Smoking and cuddling a baby, sleeping with blankets up high or under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

Either way and whatever the case is, I just found it to be a startling advertisement, and I know that was the point but was it right to make such a claim on something that is so inconclusive?

There's my latest... be safe out there and most of all be smart :)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The best damn lasagna you'll ever have.

I’m pretty proud of myself for this one. I’ve changed the recipe a bit but feel free to do as you wish. My step dad and his family came to Canada straight from Italy (northern Italy) and growing up I would beg her to send us her lasagna (we lived in Vancouver) from Mackenzie (a place in Canada, very cold). She couldn’t, but when she would come she would bring some and we would devour it. I’ve never had more amazing lasagna in my life. This isn’t her recipe, but I have to say it comes pretty close to the real thing and it’s not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Doing the layers is actually kind of… dare I say it? Fun. Oh and you’ll see in my pic I used fresh mozzarella on the top, which I would use the sliced next time.

Post pics if you make it and tell me how it goes!

1 lb sweet Italian sausage (I actually didn’t add this)
3/4 pound lean ground beef (I used lean ground turkey)
1/2 cup minced onion
2 cloves garlic, crushed (The trader joes ones that are frozen really help)
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce (I used the TJ’s Rustico Pomodoro sauce)
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil leaves
1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds (I didn’t have these in my pantry so I didn’t use them)
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley (I used dried and it worked great)
12 lasagna noodles (For this I used the TJ’s no-boil lasagna noodles, made it much easier)
16 ounces ricotta cheese
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 pound mozzarella cheese, sliced (Shredded works too)
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
In a Dutch oven, (or for me a pot with a good lid) cook sausage, ground beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat until well browned or cooked. Stir in crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, and water. Season with sugar, basil, fennel seeds(if you have them), Italian seasoning, 1 tablespoon salt, pepper, and 2 tablespoons parsley. Simmer, covered, for about 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally. (I forgot to stir and it wasn’t a problem, they simmered nicely!)
***If using normal lasagna noodles***Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles in boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes. Drain noodles, and rinse with cold water.
In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with egg, remaining parsley, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C)…
To assemble, spread 1 1/2 cups of meat sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange 6 noodles lengthwise over meat sauce. Spread with one half of the ricotta cheese mixture. Top with a third of mozzarella cheese slices. Spoon 1 1/2 cups meat sauce over mozzarella, and sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. *Repeat layers, and top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Cover with foil: to prevent sticking, either spray foil with cooking spray, or make sure the foil does not touch the cheese.
Bake in preheated oven for *25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake an additional *25 minutes. Cool for *15 minutes before serving.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Breath in life.

I can handle problems when they needs to be handled. But there is always one thing that breaks me down each and every time. Suffering. I cannot process suffering. And hearing that a child is suffering is the worst thing I can possibly imagine. It kills me, it rips and tears me apart and I wish I could fix it. There is nothing I can do, and knowing that suffering is happening collapses my heart and soul. Life is so precious. We take for granted the simple things we take pleasure in. The beauty in simplicity. The ability to wake up in the morning and look a loved one in the eye. Simpler yet, the ability to wake up in the morning.
We are so quick to complain. We need to all take half a second each day to be grateful. To feel how lucky we are that we are not suffering and that we are blessed enough to be able to complain about a hole in our sock, or our work schedule or the barista doing our coffee wrong. Live and let live. Enjoy each breath. Relish in each moment. Do one thing each day to put a smile on even one person's face.
I'm heartbroken today. Not because my own child is suffering but because some else's is. It breaks my heart looking at my own babies faces knowing how lucky I am and how much we take for granted every day. I can't heal the broken, but I can help remind each and every one of you to take in every moment and be grateful. Ask yourself, is your problem is really a problem? And find joy in the small things.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011


My sweet friend Natasha sent me this pic of us when we were younger... I'm clearly SO pumped in my leather jacket about to see Janet Jackson perform. Oh, the 90's...
Gotta love Janet though.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

You. Writing me.

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot.”
D.H. Lawrence

I got so much feedback on my "God did not create the universe" and would like to take a moment to let you all to know that when I am posting I am only sharing. When I choose to stay unbiased it's simply because I really don't want to hear that I am right or wrong from either side, especially about such a heated topic. I do have my beliefs (and although they are strong) I post blogs like that to see everyone else's take. So please, feel free to voice your opinion freely (in fact I love it when you do), but notice that I am not taking my stand in cases like these.

So please don't try to convert me assuming I'm an atheist, or educate me on religion assuming I don't know anything about it. I love science, yes. I post scientific articles from time to time. But let's not let blood boil.

I love you all and it's nice to see some passion in this world. Thank you for reading my ramblings and random thoughts.

Next post will be fun, just give me a few days.

XO Chelsea

Monday, November 29, 2010

Tao Porchon- Lynch...

So I thank you all for sticking with me and my sporadic posting. I'm gonna have a bit more time on my hands so have a feeling this'll become more regular...

Today I wanted to post about Tao Porchon-Lynch, 92 years old. Read the link I've attached and you'll see why I felt the need. This isn't about what she's doing (although it's amazing), but just the fact that she's not taken the path we all think we will take at 92. I'm going to go right ahead and say 'packing it in', because by that age so many do just that. We are told what our bodies are capable of and for how long, and give in to our 'limits' without pushing through them.

Anyway this has really made me look at growing older differently, and inspired me to take care of myself. Hopefully it'll do the same for you too :) I wish i could do what she does and I'm 25! Ha

Xo Chelsea

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hairy tights

I just had to post this. Can someone tell me WHY on EARTH anyone would want to wear tights that make your legs look hairy?! Well, apparently the geniuses over at J-Crew had reason or maybe it's a stab at PR. Any how, here they are:

So so odd. I'm confused.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

A great one? Or a soon to be forgotten?

Alright the next post won't be as heavy I PROMISE!!! Here goes:

I read an article with an interview with Blake Lively, and I have to say I've gained some respect for the girl. I really admire her way of being an actor and doing what she needs to do but generally staying out of the limelight. Doing so, she is being taken seriously and it looks like she may have a great career ahead of her. Something common that happens here in hollywood to young girls is this; they get a small taste of fame or success and their focus seems to be less of their art and more about their red carpet status. We've all seen it and we all know who falls victim. Blake said something I've always thought; There are actors and their are celebrities.

The problems lies here; when your career gains some momentum you can choose to have a publicist and pay somewhere in the ballpark of $3,000 a month (many pay a lot more, some a little less), and it is a promise to more fame and a better career (or so you're told). These people get you on the list for the best parties, red carpets galore, interviews and even push you for nominations at various award shows. All that you, the public, sees is pushed in your face and you are told who is "hot" and going to be a star because everyone is doing someone a favor and getting paid. The sad thing is that so little focus is on talent these days, and these young stars don't realize that sometimes more press isn't always a good thing. Sometimes it makes me feel so sick to be a part of something where most of the time, image is more focused on than talent. Also these young girls don't see how these people aren't always out for their best interests, and a lot of the time these young Hollywood actors are looked at as socialites more than thespians. They spend so much time looking good for the camera that the reason they got there in the first place becomes secondary.

I'm just venting because it's something that I see around me every day. It's weird to watch it happen. It is so easy to get sucked in to it all, but at the end of the day I want to be known for my ability to create life from words. Not for how I look or for a popularity contest. Whenever I wonder if I should be getting myself out there more? I think this: who do I admire? Do they sell themselves out? All of the "greats" say their words and go home. A lot of them need publicists but they are on a level that demands it, it's not being used to get them into a movie premiere or a frivolous party. That being said, I enjoy the occasional fun time with my peers like anyone else, but you start to realize it's work. And you realize you are selling a product; yourself. Also, there are certain things that even some of my favorite movie stars do because a bit of it IS part of the job. I just wish that maybe there wasn't that fine line of celebrity and someone who is taken seriously as an actor. The world loves celebrity and tries to turn every one of their beloved actors into one.

So I'm sure just like any other post, I'll have people who might find fault in what I've written. All I'm doing is shedding light on something I see every day. And before you ask, no I don't have a publicist and never have...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

God did not create the universe.

Okay, I thought that would get some attention. So here is an article on the brilliant (most brilliant, actually) Stephen Hawking's views.

Clearly controversial, but highly fascinating. I am curious as to what your thoughts are. Even/especially the Christians, etc out there.

Read the article first though, I don't want just biased opinions based on the titled.


XO Chels

Friday, August 27, 2010

For the ladies.

Okay, so these are the things that make my blood boil. (but first...)
I go home and see the lack of billboards in my face (everywhere I turn) and it's a huge sense of relief. That being said, regardless of billboards or not we are in a sick society that has pushed a warped female physic into our minds. We all know exactly how woman are "suppose" to look. Here's a good test: go to google and type in "perfect woman's body" and see what comes up.

When I was a little girl I had an idea of what I was going to look like when I grew up and the more I grew up the more I was disappointed and put pressure on myself. Why? TV, internet, magazines, etc. "We" never feel it's enough. That we're enough.

Here is a picture of what a desirable woman's body used to be:

Cellulite; check. Ass; check. Love handles; check and then some. When did that become disgusting? Why is it? Woman are starting to look more and more like men, the way woman think they need to be perfectly toned and slim. The ones who don't are looking plastic. It just saddens me because I don't know how, for our daughters, we can stop this trend. How do you not have your child become affected by what society has become and what these messages are sending to young women. There have always been pressures but I truly feel we are reaching an ultimate low as a society and letting it happen. Between plastic surgery and the media world we live in; I'm terrified. There is only so much confidence you can instill into a child before you need to let them go off into the world.

Anyway, sorry so preachy tonight I just see this so much where I work and live. I see girls in leotards all day long and I see how everyone single one is affected. Trying to keep up. Simply because this is our world. Why are we never good enough? If we all start to choose to be, than maybe we will. Be healthy, live healthy, and you are sexy, beautiful and the best you that you can be. Here's your second piece of homework: google renaissance nude, 1950s women, victorian nude, your favorite artist and see what you find. Find what you see when you look into the mirror, print it, put it on your mirror, and see the beauty.

Thanks for listening.


ps My favorite model Crystal Renn was developed an eating disorder in her modeling days. She is now healthy and SO beautiful.