Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Calling all warriors

It's been another long while since I've written, and if you've faithfully followed me and been one of the wonderful people who have asked me to write more... I'm sorry and thank you for standing by:)

I felt inspired to write tonight, life inspired me to write and change inspired me to write.
It's occurred to me that this crazy ride we are all on is so many things... It's heart wrenching, unpredictable, stunning and breathtaking. This ride can inspire us to be better and it can tear us down to the bone to teach us just how much we can take. Or maybe it is to show us how strong we can be. There are no promises in this life, there are no sure things.
I am a firm believer of  life is what we make it. We are exactly where we are today as a result of how we handled what  bump we may have hit yesterday. We have been heartbroken, abused, cheated, tested, turned down, torn down, disrespected. We have had hard battles and easy streets. We've cried. We have felt deflated, broken and just uninspired and under appreciated. But let me tell you. You can pick yourself up... You can do anything your heart desires, your soul requires. You can start again from square one, from wherever you left off before you were torn down. Life is a ride... An unpredictable ride. So who's to say that you aren't in for the most breathtaking, unbelievable ride of all. Dream it... Do it. You are a fighter even when you feel there's nothing to fight for. Those pieces that are broken and shattered into a trillion bits in places you can't see will all fall back into place. You will survive. And after you do, you will have taken this lesson with you.
You will look up at the nights sky and see beauty not sorrow.
Life's chapters open and close. The pain we feel when we know one is closing is unprecedented and perhaps seemingly unbearable.
Take a beat... Cry. Feel the pain. Let it pass over you and through you and then breath... Pick up your chin and  carry on my friend.
Never forget you're a warrior in this life.
And know that the sun always comes back after a storm.
However long it may take...

Sigh... Not sure who that was for. But I hope it helped...

Chelsea

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

November

It never feels like November. It always feels like June or July. Yet I always am reminded its here. It creeps in through the sun and the palms and my subconscious knows. Try as I might to fight the effect it has on me. The memories of fall and winter growing up are so faded but still so strong. What the cold nights felt like and the warmth of the fireplace and my moms hands. The tree lit up and the house perfectly calm and tormented all at once.
November creeps in and reminds me of what I miss. Where my heart belongs and the memories that were left in that house. Our house. The nails poking up out of the floor boards and that one spot I cut my foot. The floors that my feet grew up on, now covered with new memory deprived faux wood. The walls we measured ourselves on and searched for ghosts through painted over. The walls we pressed our ears to,
hoping to make sense of the arguments, are sanded down. The basement stairs that led the bold kid to ice-cream in the deep freezer, that my sister and I laughed and fought on, and that my first love was led down are now torn and demolished. That old roof that needed fixing dripped rain melodically, lulling me to sleep. The ant hill, the bees nest, the front door the "crazy" kicked in. Moms bed where she rubbed our hair off our foreheads. Moms bed, the safe spot. The living room I learned my dad was in intensive care, and that same living room I learned he was moving out.
The first place I brought my newborn baby to from the hospital. Even though I owned a place of my own.
November.
Thank you for bringing my memories to me.
Thank you for reminding me just how beautiful and crazy life is.



Monday, June 11, 2012

Rain

I can barely remember what it felt like; lying in bed my toes buried under the still cold covers, rubbing my feet together to generate warmth. My newly constructed room in the ground level basement of the house I grew up in, barely lit by the moon shining through the half window in the corner. Still, tonight in my room in warm California I turn on my sound machine to rain hoping to feel that comfort. I try to remind myself of the lonely nights in that house. Listening to the familiar sound of the rain hitting the drainpipe and the soaked puddled grass. The sound of it drenching the rocky alleyway beside my window and the light from the very occasional car headlights flooding my room as it and its driver crunched home. I felt so alone. My thoughts steam rolling through my head. Doubts, questions fears and insecurities rolling through my teenage mind. Yet somehow, the pitter patter of that rain grounded me. It was my security blanket and my mother. The only thing that would certainly be there and undoubtedly come again. It never let me down and it never stayed away for long. It cleansed me when I walked home from a night I would happily forget, hide my tears and soothed my soul. It filled my shoes and my heart. I miss it. I miss the things it inspired. Living in a weather deprived city seems to show in the heart of the city itself.
One day, hopefully soon, the gift of rain is the gift I want to give my children. I want them to appreciate it, feel comforted by it, safe and blanketed by it. Rain boots by the door and umbrellas always near. I want them to run in the rain, love in the rain, cry in the rain and fall asleep to the rain. I wish for them puddles to splash in, and the windshield wipers to lull them to sleep as I drive them safely home. Until then, I will listen to my slightly off, tinny rain sound and remember as much as I can. I will dream of my nights as a child and one day, I will give my children the gift of rain.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Lost and found

I just found this little drawing I did of my daughter a couple of years ago. Thought I would share to add some art to this here blog ;)

Life

I just want to say that I've seen so much sadness and death and loss in the past year that it's numbing. I've seen good people who are so near and dear to my heart lose a child (twice), and survive. I don't know how you can go on living life after such a horrible nightmare, yet they have and they live and they smile. They feel pain but believe there may be light again.

Along with the death I've seen an astounding amount of life. I've seen many babies being born and new life beginning. The death has made the life so much more amazing and even more of a miracle than I ever had realized before. It reminds me that every single moment every little breath each and every one of us takes is sacred and counted and important. It's worth something; whatever that may be.

So if you can't pay your bills, if you are lonely or feel no love just hold on. You are not alone and right now,while you feel the solitude in your darkness, someone else is in their darkness feeling the same way. Do whatever it takes every single day to push through and find happiness. Even if its in one small thing. Go watch a child laugh and play, go sit on a swing and see how high you can go. Let the weather wake you up and hit you in the face. Do something to feel alive, and then remember how lucky you are to be. Someone else would love to be as alive as you and as able as you and as lucky as you.

Whatever battle you're fighting, keep fighting it. Step into the light and breath and fight. You can do it, I know you can. You'll be amazed at what the future has in store for you.

Love, Chelsea

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Eat right

Wow two posts in one day, I'm really on a role haha.
Okay I just wanted to quickly post this cause I saw it and thought it was something we should all know. It kinda goes along with my last post because it's about eating healthy and doing things now to prevent cancer, etc later. And I'm sure you will look better on the outside too (for those of you who may be more concerned with that).

Anyway check it out:)

http://healthfreedoms.org/2011/12/06/7-foods-you-should-never-eat/

Till next time...
Xo Chels

Wanna know your thoughts...

....on this article. I, for one, am naturally very thin and was actually teased about it as a child. After having my children I filled out and carry any weight I gain in my butt! I'm proud of it and the day I grew hips and filled out was a happy day for me. If I don't work out or eat right I don't feel good about myself, if I do then I focus less on what size I am and feel good because I'm healthy. I would rather be healthy on the inside and be a bigger jean size than be scary skinny because I'm not eating right or working out. Being skinny and flabby doesn't feel good to me. Being fuller and maybe more muscular and toned makes me feel great. So I think we should focus less on size and more on what you are doing to make you the size you are. Be your natural you, your healthy you and whatever size that is, so be it! You will probably feel amazing if you know you are doing what you can to take care of your might body and soul!

Now here's that article that sparked this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2085226/PLUS-Model-Magazines-Katya-Zharkova-cover-highlights-body-image-fashion-industry.html

Monday, December 5, 2011

This message brought to you by the world wide web...

We all know that the internet has taken over. It's become the number one way we communicate and is causing us to communicate in ways we never would have dreamt of a mere 5 years ago. In so many ways these changes are amazing and exciting. I, being someone who loves the idea of a time without cellphones, internet, television, etc. am for the most part scared by the promise that this is taking over our lives. The funny thing is, this message is being written and read on a computer, and I pay my bills by performing on television. So modern technology undoubtedly has it's perks.

I could write a hundred thousand word essay on the antithesis of that, and why it drives me crazy. Some ideas are; what it exposes our children to, us becoming an increasingly less social society while we becoming more social through a screen, less outdoor play, the need for instant gratification, the downfall of the english language and on and on and on I could (but won't) go.

This leads me to the reason for writing this scattered note. The US Postal service is going down down down baby down. It scares me because I love getting mail. I hate getting bills, but I love getting mail. It's one of the things thing that I believe simply cannot ever be replaced by the internet. E-cards just don't have the same feeling. You can't touch them, hold them, keep them forever... knowing that someone put the time and love into buying (or making), hand writing and mailing something for you. It didn't take a few minutes through a company that fills in the spaces for you and one click and it's off. It's the unexpected nice surprise that is mixed into your expected bills and junk mail. The birthday or Christmas card you didn't expect. It's the check from your grandma, the magazine you subscribe to, fan mail you sent, letter from your loved one in Iraq, the school photo of your niece, the confetti in the holiday card, the postcard from the Philippines, the smudge marks on the paper, the scent of your loved one, the S.W.A.K (sealed with a kiss) from your best friend.

When I read this article today it made me want to come on here and beg you all to try to send holiday cards this year. Even go buy an old typewriter, some cool paper and have fun with sending vintage-looking notes. Maybe keep an address book with the people you loves' mailing information in it and once in a blue moon, send them a card. Help the post office stay alive for as long as we can. It's up to us to continue on supporting something that our families before us relied on so much, before a time of status updates.

Who knows, you might miss it when it's finally gone.

And I would've mailed this if I knew each and every one of you addresses.


http://news.yahoo.com/postal-cuts-slow-delivery-first-class-mail-141723847.html


Keep warm in your homes and hearts,
*Chels

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Umm wow...

Read this first. http://news.yahoo.com/milwaukee-runs-provocative-ads-wake-parents-dangers-co-213117311.html

I'm sorry but I think this is a little over the top. There is absolutely no proof that co-sleeping is a cause of SIDS. As most of you know, I have two children and with one we went the co-sleeping route and one we didn't. It seems to me that this ad isn't taking many of the important steps in educating people.

***I'm not a professional, this is only MY OWN OPINION, and you can take it or leave it but please make your own choice.***

1. it's been found that the infant mortality rate goes soaring up if someone is a smoker and sleeps beside their baby.
2. if someone has been heavily drinking or is under the influence of drugs this is another reason to put your baby in their own crib. (although if you are doing either of those things and you have a newborn, you have much bigger issues).
3. Don't let your baby sleep in your bed if you have a waterbed or if you are planning on sleeping with your blankets up around your neck... not safe.
4. your baby should not sleep in the middle of you and your partner, or on the edge of the bed so they can fall off.
5. Use your common sense.

Now; let's consider this. In many many countries around the world ( North America excluded), women sleep with their children. They believe it is important in mother-child bonding, and for the infant to feel love and closeness so early in life. I once heard of someone who went to Africa and an African woman said to her "is it true that in America you keep your babies in a jail?" referring to a crib. Now, I'm not saying we do, cause clearly we all know that's a bit severe and not the case. But it is a bit strange that so early in life we put our infants in another room, far from the mother, after spending so long attached in the womb. A gradual transition would be ideal.

Another interesting fact I've read over the past few years is that SIDS rates are higher in New Zealand, Ireland, England and America than anywhere else. Why do we think that is?

Some theories are that a chemical used in fire-retardants cause toxic gases to leak from mattresses and result in SIDS. These chemicals don't show up in autopsies and also are less likely to be deadly when a baby is sleeping on their back, with their nose and mouth breathing in more fresh air. This also could explain why the Back-to-Sleep campaign has cut SIDS more than 50%.

How about the fact that babies are maybe just as at risk if they are sleeping alone and their parents can't hear them if they are distressed? Do we know it's better to have our infant down the hallway, alone at maybe several weeks old? We have double the infant death rate than many countries who do co-sleep with their infants.

Overheating is another theory that has been related to SIDS.

Who really knows. There are dozens of theories out there and we don't really know that cause of this terrifying and tragic syndrome that every new parent fears. My point is; this ad seemed to be very vague and fear-instilling. It may be discouraging something that has been proven to be completely healthy and fine in millions of homes. Or maybe there is a slight increase but do we know it's not due to poor choices on these parent's parts? Smoking and cuddling a baby, sleeping with blankets up high or under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

Either way and whatever the case is, I just found it to be a startling advertisement, and I know that was the point but was it right to make such a claim on something that is so inconclusive?

There's my latest... be safe out there and most of all be smart :)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The best damn lasagna you'll ever have.


I’m pretty proud of myself for this one. I’ve changed the recipe a bit but feel free to do as you wish. My step dad and his family came to Canada straight from Italy (northern Italy) and growing up I would beg her to send us her lasagna (we lived in Vancouver) from Mackenzie (a place in Canada, very cold). She couldn’t, but when she would come she would bring some and we would devour it. I’ve never had more amazing lasagna in my life. This isn’t her recipe, but I have to say it comes pretty close to the real thing and it’s not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Doing the layers is actually kind of… dare I say it? Fun. Oh and you’ll see in my pic I used fresh mozzarella on the top, which I would use the sliced next time.


Post pics if you make it and tell me how it goes!




Ingredients
1 lb sweet Italian sausage (I actually didn’t add this)
3/4 pound lean ground beef (I used lean ground turkey)
1/2 cup minced onion
2 cloves garlic, crushed (The trader joes ones that are frozen really help)
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce (I used the TJ’s Rustico Pomodoro sauce)
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil leaves
1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds (I didn’t have these in my pantry so I didn’t use them)
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley (I used dried and it worked great)
12 lasagna noodles (For this I used the TJ’s no-boil lasagna noodles, made it much easier)
16 ounces ricotta cheese
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 pound mozzarella cheese, sliced (Shredded works too)
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Directions
In a Dutch oven, (or for me a pot with a good lid) cook sausage, ground beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat until well browned or cooked. Stir in crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, and water. Season with sugar, basil, fennel seeds(if you have them), Italian seasoning, 1 tablespoon salt, pepper, and 2 tablespoons parsley. Simmer, covered, for about 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally. (I forgot to stir and it wasn’t a problem, they simmered nicely!)
***If using normal lasagna noodles***Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles in boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes. Drain noodles, and rinse with cold water.
In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with egg, remaining parsley, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C)…
To assemble, spread 1 1/2 cups of meat sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange 6 noodles lengthwise over meat sauce. Spread with one half of the ricotta cheese mixture. Top with a third of mozzarella cheese slices. Spoon 1 1/2 cups meat sauce over mozzarella, and sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. *Repeat layers, and top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Cover with foil: to prevent sticking, either spray foil with cooking spray, or make sure the foil does not touch the cheese.
Bake in preheated oven for *25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake an additional *25 minutes. Cool for *15 minutes before serving.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Breath in life.

I can handle problems when they needs to be handled. But there is always one thing that breaks me down each and every time. Suffering. I cannot process suffering. And hearing that a child is suffering is the worst thing I can possibly imagine. It kills me, it rips and tears me apart and I wish I could fix it. There is nothing I can do, and knowing that suffering is happening collapses my heart and soul. Life is so precious. We take for granted the simple things we take pleasure in. The beauty in simplicity. The ability to wake up in the morning and look a loved one in the eye. Simpler yet, the ability to wake up in the morning.
We are so quick to complain. We need to all take half a second each day to be grateful. To feel how lucky we are that we are not suffering and that we are blessed enough to be able to complain about a hole in our sock, or our work schedule or the barista doing our coffee wrong. Live and let live. Enjoy each breath. Relish in each moment. Do one thing each day to put a smile on even one person's face.
I'm heartbroken today. Not because my own child is suffering but because some else's is. It breaks my heart looking at my own babies faces knowing how lucky I am and how much we take for granted every day. I can't heal the broken, but I can help remind each and every one of you to take in every moment and be grateful. Ask yourself, is your problem is really a problem? And find joy in the small things.

Chels

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Oldie

My sweet friend Natasha sent me this pic of us when we were younger... I'm clearly SO pumped in my leather jacket about to see Janet Jackson perform. Oh, the 90's...
Gotta love Janet though.





Xo
C

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

You. Writing me.

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot.”
D.H. Lawrence

I got so much feedback on my "God did not create the universe" and would like to take a moment to let you all to know that when I am posting I am only sharing. When I choose to stay unbiased it's simply because I really don't want to hear that I am right or wrong from either side, especially about such a heated topic. I do have my beliefs (and although they are strong) I post blogs like that to see everyone else's take. So please, feel free to voice your opinion freely (in fact I love it when you do), but notice that I am not taking my stand in cases like these.

So please don't try to convert me assuming I'm an atheist, or educate me on religion assuming I don't know anything about it. I love science, yes. I post scientific articles from time to time. But let's not let blood boil.


I love you all and it's nice to see some passion in this world. Thank you for reading my ramblings and random thoughts.

Next post will be fun, just give me a few days.



XO Chelsea

Monday, November 29, 2010

Tao Porchon- Lynch...

So I thank you all for sticking with me and my sporadic posting. I'm gonna have a bit more time on my hands so have a feeling this'll become more regular...

Today I wanted to post about Tao Porchon-Lynch, 92 years old. Read the link I've attached and you'll see why I felt the need. This isn't about what she's doing (although it's amazing), but just the fact that she's not taken the path we all think we will take at 92. I'm going to go right ahead and say 'packing it in', because by that age so many do just that. We are told what our bodies are capable of and for how long, and give in to our 'limits' without pushing through them.

Anyway this has really made me look at growing older differently, and inspired me to take care of myself. Hopefully it'll do the same for you too :) I wish i could do what she does and I'm 25! Ha


http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20101129/lf_nm_life/us_fitness_yoga




Xo Chelsea

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hairy tights

I just had to post this. Can someone tell me WHY on EARTH anyone would want to wear tights that make your legs look hairy?! Well, apparently the geniuses over at J-Crew had reason or maybe it's a stab at PR. Any how, here they are:







So so odd. I'm confused.

Chels